Scaredy cat..

May 9, 2010

I joined a group last monday night for people with small businesses. Since this is my first publishing business, I thought it was a pretty good idea.  I love meeting new people, especially as myself not as a mother or partner.  I was abnormally excited, outgoing, talkative and confident.  I rattled on and on about AV and my big plans.  I had lots of ideas to share for other  businesses and everything was going just great until, well until, someone suggested that I share my website with the group so they could give feedback.  Simple enough suggestion, right?

My reaction was immediate and physical.  I tried to hide it, but I was terrified. Why can´t they just trust what I say about my business and my products? Do they really have to see them?  It would be much be easier to just tell them how great it is and they could believe me! Seriously, what do people have against facades? I´m so good at them! There comes a point in every endeavor when people express their opinions.

I know this because I am the queen of opinions.  I am the ultimate judge.  I am hyper critical.  I can dish it out, but I don like to take it.  I think this is fair, because although I might not take it from you, I have already taken the criticism from the harshest of judges, me.

After some reflection, I see that  feedback in the past has thwarted my journey.   It used to rule me.  And now I want no part of it, I am afraid to be swayed. I know that some people think this project is stupid, silly, and simplistic. If you are going to embark on any journey, someone along the way will have an opinion about it.  It’s just the way the world works.  But it is wise to join groups, and if everyone says that at the end of your journey there is a dead-end, it might be a good idea to listen. Listen to them, then listen to myself.  There is  always room to learn.

Pushing through ones vulnerability is what makes the journey worth taking.


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