Five to one ratio..

September 27, 2010

I first heard about the five to one ratio while working in child care, then later with regards to couples. The theory is credited to the studies by Dr. John Gottman. This is what he discovered; a healthy relationship has the ratio of five positive interactions to every one negative interaction. Any less than that and the relationship struggles. (ALL relationships teacher/child, parent/child, mother in law, lover, etc.)

If you have less than a 5 positives to 1 negative in couples, divorce rates are very high. If it is less than 5:1 in relationships with children, they are unhappy. They will not function optimally.

You would think it would be 50/50 or a little more. You would think that if you we always a bit more positive than negative all would be well, but no, 5:1 is the magic number.

And it is never too late to start… so, thank you for reading, you have great taste in blogs, (or fabulous instincts while searching), your children are beautiful and I really like your shoes.

Now pass it on to the ones you love. The world will be a much more pleasant place when we all activate this ratio.

Have a lovely day.


9 Responses to “Five to one ratio..”

  1. Jacinda Says:

    Wow, this is great information I have never heard. 5:1. Ok, here goes.

  2. 5:1 is a great habit… then we can aspire to an ever higher ratio; 20:1, perhaps? great post, as usual. i love your visual voice!

  3. Rosie Says:

    Boy – I haven’t manange that today. I have stormed out of my Papa’s flat twice and cried on my bed like a 9 year old – twice. Seems to be better now. Away for next 2 dasy then brothers come. So its downhill from here1 LOL Rosie

    • kimberlymoore Says:

      Sending lots of love to you Rosie! This 5:1 ratio the reason your affirmation art is soo important! I hope someone takes that idea soon and rolls with it!

  4. Rosie Says:

    hi kIM

    I JUST READ THE MASTERMIND minutes and would love to be talking with you. Your product is wonderful. Don’t forget that but its going to take time. and… you are going to have to do major marketing. You need a sales letter. It will take awhile. Oh I said that already didn’t I. It may take 2 years even. So. Patience sweet friend. And sorry I am writing this here but its the only way I can get to you at the moment. LETS STRATAGISE WHEN i GET HOME.Sorry about the cap locks. Both brothers here at the moment. All going well. We all regress. Had a snap at youngest cos he was going on about things being fair cos middle and I made a decision about a bowl when he wasn’t here. All childhood stuff. YOUNGEST LI

  5. Rosie Says:

    as I was saying – youngest lives in the states and has kept his English accent and sounds so popmpous much of the time – it grates. But all good and we have had some really good laughs!

    Much love Rosie

  6. Kimberly Says:

    Love your brothers fully, and I look forward to your return! x

  7. akbutler Says:

    what an interesting idea and a great tip for me to read today. I think I’ll start today and see if the day goes more smoothly.
    Thanks for visiting my blog this weekend, because it led me here to yours 🙂

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