What she tells herself…

October 19, 2010

This is my daughter.

I raised her without a Barbie.

Far away from

a plastic surgery culture.

Away from billboards.

Or commercials.

But still,

but still,

this child thinks she is fat.

Ugly.

Repulsive.

I follow her.

After every nibble.

To ensure food stays in her

tiny body

long enough to digest.

I bring her favorite lunch to school.

And her favorite protein drinks.

My secret life revolves around appointments and meals.

And still she feels worthless,

un-loved.

Ugly.

I wish I could buy her confidence.

I wish I could infuse it into her.

But I know it has to come from within.

From within her.

A struggle for self-love.

and acceptance.

I pray this phase is short.

And that she learns faster

than her mother.

Here is my song to her, Natalie wrote it…

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3 Responses to “What she tells herself…”

  1. kimberlymoore Says:

    Update: She called from the nurse’s office with a headache. I told the nurse that it was from not eating, that she had an eating disorder. The nurse then, after I got off the phone, weighed her, measured her and then SAID, “Your not THAT skinny!”. Who hires these people?


  2. when i read this post, my first thought was – she will read this in a few years and know how truly and deeply you love her. your beautiful daughter is so blessed to have you for her mumma.
    as for the nurse … this chills me to the bone. is she capable of understanding just why that comment was so deplorable?

  3. kimberlymoore Says:

    I asked that the nurse be educated that bulimia and anorexia are not physical but psychological. She is in her last days of that job anyway, but the harm she has inflicted was unnecessary. My sweetie is doing really well lately, she had a great week.


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