What am I going to do with you?
November 18, 2010
I went to a parenting workshop last year and one of my friends recounted how her mother used to say over and over..”What are we going to do with you. Vicky? What are we going to do with you?”. This statement confused my friend. It frustrated her. It hurt her. “What am I going to do with you!”.
The memory of her frustrated mother, the very tired person who was at a loss for what to “do” with this child.
My friend thought about this memory for a long while. Now that she was a mother, she had a different perspective..finally, she decided that her mother needed to do nothing with her.
She just wanted to be.
Well, I went home and thought about this, because, well, I have said “What am I going to do with You?” to my youngest.
She is a free spirit. She is adventurous. She is willful.
“What am I going to do with you, Zuva?”.
I didn’t want my little one to grow up with my friends’ memories of her mother, the exasperation, the feeling of being a burden. I thought about the answer long and hard.
I think I came up with a solution.
We now have a routine or a ritual you might call it..
I say, “What am I going to do with you?!?”.
And my daughter stops and smiles. She’s memorized the answer.
“Love me,” she says, “Love me, love me, love me!”.
And I do.