One of “those” moms…
January 22, 2011
I’ve become one of “those” moms. You know, the ones who can’t wait for their child to go off to school or childcare. I was NEVER one of those moms. I was the Queen of attachment parenting. I nursed longer than I care to share via the internet. Although I spent a decade working in Child Care Centers, my children have never seen the inside of one. I hand make Halloween costumes and birthday cakes and crowns and invitations.
This is how I have defined who I am.
I feel the changes. Time and place have made me less judgmental, more easygoing.
My life has changed. I have a very, very busy four-year old. People tell us that maybe we should feed her some junk food and sit her in front of a TV for a while. She bothers her older sister who has constant sleep overs (at thirteen) so I try to keep them separated and busy and happy. Twenty-four seven. I don’t live near family. I don’t have a babysitter. (Her 15 year old sister is on an adventure.) I am closer to 50 years than 40 years old, but just barely. I am passionate about my new business that I have no time for in between pleasing everyone.
We have experienced a very wet summer and school has been out almost two months.
So I wait. I actually cross the days off the calendar until the doors open at the beautiful Steiner pre-school on the organic farm down the street. I dream of my four-year old running into angelic Kelly’s arms to spend the few mornings per week baking bread and playing. And I don’t even have to be there, or to clean up the kitchen or the Forts afterwards.
Until then, I wait, on beaches, even in the rain, for that day to come. And I try to learn patience and appreciate this child who surprised me years after I was finished having children. She teaches me to stop and wait and listen. And most importantly, to never, ever judge other mothers.