Angel

January 8, 2012

I thought I knew everything before I birthed this child. And if I only had one child, I might still be sitting in my pool of arrogance.

Our pregnancy was different (we lost her twin). Her birth was different, more intense, but fast (under two hours). She was the sweetest, most sensitive baby I have ever met, we called her “angel” from the beginning.  I remember tossing her in the air, just a little, like I have with many babies before her. I remember the look. “What the heck are you doing throwing a baby?”- she scowled at me firmly. Once after I lost my temper and yelled, she calmly looked at me and said, “Mom, is this suppose to help the situation?”  I think she was six. The wisdom that flowed from this young, fair child never ceases to amaze me. I once used a figure of Confucius to represent her, then stopped myself.  It is not her job to be a teacher. But in so many ways, she is.

And today she is 14. Another seven year cycle entered. This is the cycle where she will begin to make more choices on her own, sharing the responsibility with me until she is 21. Then she will be free of my input. I’ll do my best to guide her well the next seven years, and she’ll have to endure my clumsiness and good intentions until the end. She’s been patient with me so far and freedom is just around the corner….

She enters this new faze in the sky, between parents’ homes, unconventionally missing her birthday entirely over the date line. When she’s older, she can logistically deduct a year, see how wise is this angel?

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